The Good Fight

Brendan Montague, 31st July 2009, Counterfire

Lance corporal Joe Glenton went Awol rather than return to Afghanistan. Earlier this year, Joe married Clare. This is her story.

Joe Glenton, 27, is Lance Corporal for the Four Logistics Support Regiment and served in Afghanistan until the end of 2006. He was due to be posted back into the theatre of war in mid 2007 but went Awol. He joined the army in 2004 aged 23 and was based at Dolton, Abingdon, Oxfordshire. Born in Norwich, he was raised and now lives in York.

Yesterday, he handed a letter to Downing Street explaining why he went Awol and is opposed to military operations in Afghanistan. On May 23 this year, Joe married Clare, 32, a trainee lawyer from Prestwich in Manchester. This is her story.

We first made contact through Facebook because we had a mutual friend. I got a message telling me that Joe was coming to Australia from Asia and asking if we would like to meet because he didn't know anyone in the country. Dan Markham, who introduced us, just said: "I want you to just meet up with this guy and show him around, I think you would get on." I had gone out to Australia by myself and I knew what it was like to be a stranger in a strange place. So in August 2007 I just met him in a bar for a few drinks - so we are now coming up for two years together.

I had no idea about his army background. I didn't fancy him in the least. He was just a sweaty backpacker with a beard and scraggy hair. He seemed very quiet and introverted - but at the same time he was really interesting. Initially we just talked about what we had in common, which at the very beginning was just the fact we both knew Dan. Dan was an old friend of mine from London and he had met Joe in Vietnam. I think Joe was just lost, drinking quite a lot.

It was probably only a week after we met that we first slept together. We were immediately spending a lot of time together and talking about the traveling we had done. I invited him to an event which was providing free drinks and by the end of the evening it was just to two of us. He had a few drinks he just blurted it out and told me that he had joined the army, had served in Afghanistan and then while back in the UK had just gone Awol - jumped the fence.

Attraction
I was a little shocked at first - I felt sorry for him. I didn't see how he had done anything wrong. I had no opinions about Afghanistan at the time, I was closed to it all. It is only since we have been together that I can understand what it all means. It's certainly been an education for me. That evening I was more impressed that he had been a soldier than anything. I thought that was wonderful, he was a man in uniform which is what so many girls tend to like.

He still had a great sense of humour and because he trusted me I felt like he was someone I could trust. He came across as a very caring person. I was also quite fascinated by his situation. The fact we had a mutual friend helped because there was always something light we could talk about. It was about a week after meeting that we became a couple. It was so intense. We both started to feel this real attraction. I moved into my own flat in October and he came to stay just before Christmas, just for a few days. He never left.

But for Joe it was a very stressful occupation, it was very difficult for him. There were times when he would just shut me out. The more I tried to help and support him, the more he would just rage and shout at me. He was constantly having nightmares, he felt really guilty about the lads he had left behind and he was always questioning if he had made the right decision. He was scared of going back, of going to prison. But he couldn't justify the war to himself, he couldn't be involved because he didn't think British troops should be out there.

At first I was asking myself what I was getting in to. I thought Joe was going to travel back to the UK to hand himself in to the army. He was determined to hand himself in but he just couldn't do it. He was in a bit of a hole. He was obviously very depressed. Having just met him I just thought that was who he was, that he was just very angry all the time. He was so volatile. He didn't like meeting new people. He found it very difficult because he didn't want to lie to people about his situation. He obviously couldn't tell people he was Awol because of the fear of being found out, of being deported from Australia.

It was a very big battle. He felt guilty and ashamed. Initially I thought he was completely lost. When he was in Asia he had no idea what he was doing. He was just wondering around. I was very much stable in Australia. I had a job as a personal assistant working for a legal firm. I was single at the time. I had just been through a very hard time myself. I had a big split from an ex two years earlier and I was quite vulnerable.

Awe and shock
I had re-evaluated all my friendships. I had been seeing Paul for 10 years when he decided to end it and we lived in the same friendship circle. I was extremely hurt and decided to make a clean break and move to Australia. So I was lost and lonely myself. I was certainly looking for a new friendship and probably a new relationship. Joe helped me come to terms with a lot of things and he was a great listener - working through my problems gave him a break from worrying about his own situation. Then when he told me what was really going on, I was able to help him.

There was part of me that felt at the time that I didn't deserve to have to deal with Joe's emotional baggage as well as my own. We did split up a number of times because I couldn't cope with his behavior. He was just so angry. He was suffering from depression. We had spent a lot of time together and it all happened so quickly. When he got angry he just wanted to be left alone, which I found very difficult to do because I could see that he was suffering and I wanted to help. He would reject me which was very hard. He found it incredibly hard to talk about what had happened to him in Afghanistan. He would talk about the mortars flying over head. And the fact he had to shift coffins around. I was just in awe and shock of what he was telling me.

For me life started to feel normal. We had a home and I was doing well in my job. Joe was doing odd bits of work, landscaping mainly. But it was never normal for Joe. He was still very confused about what he was doing. It was a large part of our lives and difficult for both of us to come to terms with the fact he was Awol. We were falling more in love but we couldn't stay in Australia for ever.

Apart from anything, Joe's visa was due to run out this year so he knew he would have to come back to the UK. He only really started to come to terms with everything after Christmas last year. He made contact with the army's welfare support services and started to receive counseling. I was doing some research on the Internet and I am convinced he was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder, he was showing all the symptoms.

But the only solution was for him to hand himself in and we decided to come back to the UK. This was a huge step for both of us, we knew he could go to prison for two years. We got married in May after he proposed in February. We decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and marriage was very important to me. It was something to show our level of commitment to each other. Whatever happened to Joe, we wanted to make the journey together.

We had a very private ceremony because we didn't want a big fuss and we had a lovely celebration afterwords with some friends. Our families were not able to come out so there was some disappointment. We were fortunate to be married in Sydney because it is such a beautiful city and the weather was incredible. The whole day was beautiful in every way - apart from this big dark cloud hanging over us.

It was very nerve wracking the whole plane ride home because we didn't know what to expect. We assumed that customs officials would stop us or the army would be there to arrest Joe and take him away. That's what we assumed would happen. We thought there would be an intervention. But on the day it was only our families that were there to greet us. Joe's mum Sue, 57, a PA, and my sister Louise, 29, a photographer were waiting in arrivals. I just collapsed into their arms. There were lots of hugs.

Even when we arrived at the airport my sister didn't know what was going on so we were trying very hard not to reveal our emotions. We didn't do very well. I have always been very close to my mother and my sister. But for the whole time I was with Joe I had never told them he was Awol, or how stressed he had been. They knew something was wrong. So when we finally told them our situation I think they were just relieved that he wasn't a murderer. When I told my mum she just said: "Okay, you are both adults and you're married so we respect your privacy." Everyone was so amazing.

I am very nervous about Monday. There's a very real possibility that Joe could be sent to jail for up to two years. At this stage I can't even bear to think about that. When I do think about it I find myself getting very upset and emotional. I have a gut feeling. I just trust the fact that Joe is going to be okay. As a couple we will battle through it. I'm going am going from my instincts, I believe we will be fine and he will not be taken away from me.

Proud
The irony is this is the time when I am finally getting to know the real Joe. He is much less angry and at ease with himself. He is very thoughtful and considerate. He is not naturally an angry person. I have always seen what Joe was inside but ever since Christmas when we decided what we would do and that we would do it together this has shone through in every way. Since we have been in the UK he has been amazing. He has proved to me more than I had ever hoped for. Our relationship has become even more intense and intimate. There has been more emotion and enjoying each other's company. It's been brilliant.

If Joe walks free after the hearing, Joe wants to go to university to read political science or international studies and I want to finally move on with my career. However, I am now 32 and we do want to have a family. Some of those involved with our legal team from the army were diabolical, but a family friend, John Tipple, is now helping us with our case. He has been an inspiration. He has been really supportive of Joe.

The last few days have been incredible. After keeping everything a secret it is amazing watching Joe tell the world about what he feels about the war. His loyalty will always be with the lads, but he is haunted by what is happening to the Afghan people. The children who are being killed. He cannot find any justification for it. For me, it has been like being married to a celebrity, we've been in and out of television studios and everyone has been texting saying "what are you doing on the news!" But most importantly, Joe is finally everything I knew he could be. He is incredibly brave to make this stand and I am just proud that I can be here to support him.